The Will of the Force
by Vampire with a Soul
Summary: I didn't choose to leave. The Force told me that I had to. This is the story of the final months of my journey of self-discovery, self-empowerment, and my walk on the path of the Gray Jedi. Ayame one-shot.


**Hi there, everyone. I know that I said that I was going to be on hiatus for a while, but I wanted to at least leave you with something to give you an idea of what I was thinking when I ended my last Star Wars story.**

 **I'm a huge fan of the online game, and I'm a subscriber to it. I also fell in love with Revan as a character when I played KOTOR all those years ago. I wanted to include some of it because it...felt right, and was a good challenge to try out.**

 **I hope you enjoy, and if I don't post again, have an absolutely wonderful holiday season.**

 **As always, I own Ayame, and in this case, Onlarra (my first Sith Warrior character on SWTOR). Everything else belongs to their respective owners.**

It had been six months since I left. I had spent time on Korriban and Tython, learning from Sith Lords and Jedi Masters long gone. I had just finished a lesson on Taris with an old master when I felt a massive pull off planet. I left immediately, and the Force took me out to Wild Space, where the Eternal Empire of Zakuul once was. I was led to a planet called Odessen. I didn't know much about it, but the Force was taking me there for a reason, so I followed its will.

There were remnants of an old base on this planet. I landed on an old landing pad and got out to explore. The base was overgrown, like it had been abandoned for years. Normally, I would have pulled out a datapad and searched the HoloNet for information. But, I had purposefully left my datapad back home, wanting to make discoveries naturally.

A path from the landing pad took me toward the base. As I got closer, I felt an overwhelming presence. Many people had been here, and many had died, Sith and Jedi alike. I closed my eyes and cast my senses as far as I could. When I opened my eyes, several figures stood before me.

A muscular male Sith Lord in red armor, a mask, and a hood.

A human female Jedi Master with black hair, tan skin, and wise, gentle eyes.

A blonde human Sith woman with amber eyes and a serene look on her face.

A crimson-skinned Sith woman with dark red hair and bright red eyes.

In the center, a tall human man with hair and eyes the same color as the Jedi.

"Masters," I said, bowing.

"Welcome, little one," the male Sith said, his voice altered by the mask he wore.

"Impressive that you were able to answer our call all the way from Taris," the blonde Sith said.

"Your masters taught you well," the Jedi master said.

"I suppose you know who I am," I said, looking around at all of them. "If I may, who are you?" The muscular male Sith spoke first.

"I am Marr, former member of the Dark Council," he said, drawing himself up with pride.

"Grand Master Satele Shan," the Jedi said, bowing.

"Lana Beniko," the blonde Sith said with a bow. "It's a pleasure."

"Onlarra Dilavin, formerly known as the Emperor's Wrath," the crimson Sith said.

"I am Revan," the male in the middle said. I was in awe. I had heard of these masters, but I had no idea what they had looked like, especially Revan.

"What is this place?" I asked.

"This was the base of the Alliance, a resistance made up of Republic and Imperial forces that fought against Zakuul and the Eternal Empire," Lana Beniko said. The masters turned and started walking toward the base. I followed, taking in everything that was said.

"Zakuul had successfully subjugated both, and not everyone enjoyed that," Onlarra said. "I led them into battle against Zakuul, and we were victorious."

"This was proof that there could be peace between the Empire and the Republic," Marr said, motioning to the ruins around us. I studied the main room that we stood in. There were clear signs of a battle, but I also saw remnants of shops, still with equipment sitting on the shelves. I walked over to one and found a lightsaber hilt, though one that looked like a Sith had constructed it.

"Why here?" I asked.

"As you've probably noticed, this planet is balanced in the Force, not truly leaning one way or the other," Revan said. "I was drawn here after Zakuul fell."

"I wish I could say that things are different now," I said absently.

"The Republic still wars with the Empire?" Marr asked.

"No, not the Empire," I said. "Multiple systems have allied against the Republic. They amassed a huge droid army, which we fight with a clone army of our own."

"Clones? Are there not enough people to fight without them?" Lana asked.

"Not with this civil war, no," I replied. "There are barely enough Jedi to fight across the galaxy."

"And what of the Sith?" Onlarra asked. "Do they fight with the Separatists?"

"There is only one Sith that we know of," I answered. "A former Jedi named Count Dooku. We're trying to find either his master or apprentice, but we aren't sure. Dooku said that it is Chancellor Palpatine, but we have no proof to even make a move against the him." Marr, Lana, and Onlarra looked crestfallen.

"So, it's true," Marr said sadly. "The Sith have fallen."

"The first Sith I encountered was just over 10 years ago. He was the first one that had revealed himself in almost a millennium," I continued. "He killed my husband's master. My husband killed him."

"Husband?" Satele said. "The Jedi can marry?"

"There was a prophecy predicting our marriage. I doubt they could have predicted the path I would take, though," I replied, looking at my feet.

"Do not forget that without the creation of life, you would not be here, Satele," Revan said quietly, looking at the Jedi.

"We haven't had any children," I interjected. "There was never any real intention on children."

"Why?" Lana asked. "Jedi have had children in the past."

"When Obi-Wan and I were married, we decided that we were Jedi first. Our duty was to the Republic. That didn't leave enough room for children. We've almost never been on assignment together, and we were both busy with training our Padawans," I said. The more that I spoke, however, the more I realized that I was absent without children. Onlarra looked at me.

"And yet, while a war rages in the Republic, here you are," she said simply, giving voice to my thoughts.

"I guess…I guess we never did talk about it," I muttered, realizing that some part of me wanted to have children of my own. Revan walked up to me and smiled gently.

"If this is the path that you walk, then you cannot allow your emotions to be repressed," he said. "Use them, but do not let them control you."

That was the first words he spoke to me as part of my training. The next several months went by as a blur, learning more dark side techniques with Onlarra, Marr, and Lana. Revan and Satele furthered the Jedi Training, but Revan and Lana taught me to combine the two and become a Gray Jedi. By the end of my journey, I felt more at peace than I ever had before. This felt right for me. I was completely in control of my emotions, and the one that sat prominently was love: I knew now that I loved Obi-Wan more than I ever could have imagined, and that not admitting it to myself was only holding me back.

On my final day on Odessen, I had just finished a new tunic, as mine had become shredded with intense training. It was sleeveless, made of a gray fabric that suited my new title. I had also made a black cloak and cloth mask to wear in battle. Suddenly, I felt a strong pull. Dressing quickly, I followed the pull, and it led me to a cave underneath the base. My instructors were all waiting, along with a very familiar face.

"Qui-Gon!" I felt my heart swell. He smiled at me, like a proud father seeing his child all grown up.

"Ayame," he said. "You have grown." I laughed through the happy tears falling from my eyes.

"I have," I replied.

"You have done exceedingly well, Ayame," Lana began. "Your power is now fully yours to command."

"Remember that the Force is not only a tool, but a companion," Satele continued.

"Your enemies will cower before you, and your allies rally behind you," Onlarra declared.

"And when your time comes, the Force will welcome you with all of the Masters that have come before you," Marr concluded.

"But first, a new you requires a new weapon," Revan said, motioning to an altar behind him. I could see all of the necessary components to construct a new lightsaber, along with a second set and two crystals.

"Two?" I asked.

"The style you fight with merits two sabers," Satele said. "We will help you as much as we can." I nodded and knelt down before the table.

"With these new lightsabers, I will bring peace to Republic, protect those I love, and destroy those who threaten the balance of the Force," I said. Focusing my attention, I felt the combined power of the masters flowing through me. I directed it at the parts lying on the altar. The pieces started falling in to place. The task was near effortless, especially with the power of seven powerful Force Sensitives being directed at it. I noticed all the nuances that made the masters who they were.

Lana, the serene Sith who stood at the side of Dark Council members, never desiring a title for herself. Calm, and completely in control of her emotions, channeling them with ease.

Satele, the Jedi Master descended from legends. A powerful Jedi who had seen many come and go, all the while doing everything that she thought was right.

Marr, the Dark Council darth, redeemed in death, but no less powerful. His decisions guided the Empire in the absence of an Emperor, only to be betrayed by someone he thought he served well.

Onlarra, chosen by the Emperor as his personal executioner. Her skill and anger gave her power to rival any darth that sat on the Dark Council, and allowed her to serve a master that she eventually betrayed and destroyed.

Revan, an ancient master who fell to the Dark Side, and was redeemed. Satele's ancestor, one of the most powerful Jedi ever to have roamed the galaxy, and someone that I considered to be one of the first Gray Jedi.

Qui-Gon, one of my teachers, and someone that I came to consider a friend and father figure. Many in the Order thought he was a Gray as well, which is probably why he pegged me for one the moment he met me.

Then there was me, a Jedi Knight who had been allowed to marry because of a prophecy. _No_ , I told myself _. Because the Force wanted me to._ Harnessing my newfound power, I poured all of the love that I had for Obi-Wan, for Anakin, for Kamuro, and for the Republic into my new weapons. The crystals shined as they fell into place, and with a series of clicks, the lightsabers were complete. Feeling the process finish, I stood and called them to me. They felt…natural in my hands. They were warm as I gripped them, almost as if they were alive. Pressing the buttons, I felt a small jerk as twin silver blades hummed to life. Their bright glow gave me a warm feeling as I examined them. These felt like they were truly mine.

"These weapons are not simply your tools to destroy your enemies or protect the ones that you love," Qui-Gon said from behind me. I turned to face him. "They are intimately a part of you. You are their creator, their handler, and their master. They are an extension of yourself and your will." Even as he said it, I felt as though they were melting into my hands, becoming a physical part of my body. I turned them off and attached them to my belt.

"I understand, Master," I said solemnly. The other five masters backed up as Revan came forward, motioning for me to kneel.

"The Force brought you here to complete your training, and you have learned much, little one," he said. "While you still have much to learn, you must now learn it on your own. I bestow upon you the rank of Jedi Master, for your natural ability in the Force, and your willingness to learn what you must to do your duty to the Republic, to yourself, and to those you love. The Force is your ally and willing companion. Now, rise, and recite your code." I stood strong before the masters, took a breath, and spoke the words from my heart.

"There is no Dark Side, nor a Light Side. There is only the Force. I will do what I must to keep the balance. The balance is what keeps me together. There is no good without evil, but evil must not be allowed to flourish. There is passion, yet emotion. Serenity, yet peace. Chaos, yet order. I am the wielder of the flame, the protector of the balance. I am the holder of the torch, lighting the way. I am the keeper of the flame, soldier of balance. I am a guardian of balance. I am a Gray Jedi."

Even as I spoke the words, they felt right. This is what I was meant to be. I had finally found my purpose in life. I finally knew what the Force had intended for me, and I was going to do everything that I could to fulfill my duties.

I felt a pull coming from off planet. I turned and looked at the direction where my fighter was sitting. My adrenaline started rushing. Something was wrong back home, and the Force was pulling toward it.

"You feel that?" Lana asked from my right. I glanced at the masters, and saw that they were all looking in the same direction.

"It seems that it is time for you to return to the fight," Marr said. "You have accomplished what you set out to do. Now, the true fight begins."

"Go with our blessing. Remember what you have learned, and use it to the fullest," Satele said.

"Remember your oath, and the Force will be at your side," Revan added.

"Your enemies await you, as do your allies. Go to them," Onlarra said. The five disappeared as I bowed to them. Only Qui-Gon remained. He smiled warmly at me.

"Ayame, I am very proud of what you have become. If ever you need me," he said.

"I'll call," I promised. "Thank you, Master." He bowed, a gesture that I returned, and vanished. I sprinted from the caves, practically leaping to my fighter. I powered it up and sped from the planet. Once I was in space, I contacted the nearest outpost. To my surprise, Master Plo Koon answered me.

"Ayame?" he asked, genuinely surprised to see me.

"Master," I replied.

"So, you've seen fit to join the fight at last," he said. I brushed off the somewhat angered tone in his voice.

"The Force decided that it was time," I replied.

"Well, you couldn't have picked a better time. The Chancellor has been kidnapped," he said after a moment.

"What? How?" I asked, pushing my fighter faster.

"How is not our concern. I will patch you through to the rest of the Council," he said. There was a pause, and suddenly, five members of the Council stood before me, including Masters Yoda and Windu.

"Ayame," Master Ki Adi Mundi said. "It's good to see you."

"Found what you were searching for, hmm?" Yoda asked me. The sound of his warm gravelly voice made me smile.

"Yes, Master. I did," I replied. "Master Koon just informed me that the Chancellor has been kidnapped. What can I do to help?"

"Two Jedi have already been assigned to the rescue," Master Windu said.

"Who?"

"Obi-Wan and Anakin," he replied. My heart jumped to my throat.

"Requesting permission to aid them, Masters," I said, fully intending to help anyway. Master Yoda must have sensed that, because he smiled.

"Permission? Asking for permission, are you?" he asked. I chuckled, knowing what he meant. "Master Ayame, a great task, this is. Something smaller, to get you into the war, would be more appropriate."

"I agree. You're just getting into this, Ayame. Maybe something easier…" Windu continued, but I cut him off.

"I am needed there, and you all can sense it," I said. I knew that I sounded like an indignant child, but it was true. "We still need to see if Count Dooku was telling the truth. If he is, we need the Chancellor alive." The Council members were silent. Finally, Master Windu spoke up.

"Very well, Master Ayame. Proceed to these coordinates. Tell Obi-Wan and Anakin that we sent you to aid them."

"Will you reveal yourself to them?" Master Yoda asked. I hadn't thought of that. It had been a year, and Anakin was probably furious with me. The Force only knew how Obi-Wan would take it, and in the middle of a mission, that was dangerous.

"No," I said. "I will not. They won't even feel my presence."

"Very well. Good luck, Ayame. May the Force be with You," Yoda said, and the transmission ended. As I hurdled through hyperspace, my autopilot taking me to the coordinates sent by the Council, I pulled my mask over my face and pulled my hood over my head. I carefully disguised my own presence, and buried it deep within myself. There was still a chance that they would know it was me, but for now, I had to hide myself. It hurt to do this, for I wanted nothing more than to fall into Obi-Wan's embrace, feel his body next to mine, and finally feel at home again.

 _Soon_ , I said to myself. _There is a time and a place, and neither is now._

 _Now, it's time to show everyone what I've learned._


End file.
